.......................yeah, well, I've been quite the absent person lately. And the reason is......my computer completely broke down, like reverted everything of the internet connection and wireless connection. So, I have to be home for this and more than likely, I won't BE home until Christmas Eve, Christmas Day (which won't even be spent at my house), and.....a slight chance of the next day. I am so busy working both jobs and saving money that my life i almost completely ruined without a car and license. I need license by March because my permit expires, and my uncle threatens him moving, which means......I might not be able to work if he truly does (I walk to work, therefore, unworkable if he moves)/ And things just aren't going my way lately. I don't earn enough money and I have college, dog fence, car, license, insurance, rent and bills (that I can easily pay each 1st), and other crap to pay for. WHAT THE HECKKKKKK?!?!?!?! THIS JUST TOTALLY SUCKS. I haven't seen any friends in 2 months almost, Brent is the only one I see more often than not. I've shoved Aaron away at the moment, haven't talked to him since the 8th......and yeah........

So, I've had an itch to draw lately, can't sleep, getting antsy of just sitting here at my uncle's, I'm going insane and OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG......................this just totally isn't my year. My cousin is the one who lets me drive and hello, she refuses to talk to me because of her "depression" she needs to get over it. I need her. She is being another "Mom". I told her that and she was POED beyond belief, but heck, she's just.....AUGHGHHGHGHGHdfj;alsdjffjklgerknhjkaerhtiluerhbnkljaerhti lrhfljkawehtlerhglauiwerhilugrjtnhjuaert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it when you need someone the most, they're never there? And when you depend upon them entirely, it seems your whole world falls apart.

Why the heck must I buy my first car? WHY DON'T THEY HELP MEEEE????? I mean, my God, when I was in school I had them all fawning over me, school clothes, supplies, project helpers, and now........now I have nothing but work. That's ALL I do. Go to work, come home, stay up because I'm no longer tired when I get home, and sleep.

I want to go to school, but with the way things are going, I won't go. My path I've decided to take is to be a Vet's Assistant or Small Animal Care. And that's the Berea g'ville tech. And well, I might not make it in this world much longer.

So, since I'm currently using my uncle's computer, and have time, I've updated you on.....most everything.

MY emotions right now. Antsy, pacing around, nervous, breaking down, anger, frustration, depression, annoyance, wrath, slight optimism (which I almost always am anyway), fear, pressure, breaking point, weighted down, VERY bitchy, mad, lost, upset, confused...............................................................................so yeah. I've lost my mind.

STOLEN FROM........Darryl....don't remember his whole dA name off top of my head! oh well

PART ONE

EMO:
[x] you own at least 5 black tops
[x] you like tight jeans
[x] you're listening to music right now
[x] you have painted your fingernails black before
[x] You have more than 300 songs on your ipod/mp3/itunes
[x] Like the colour black
[x] hate girly girls (The really, really super girly ones, yeah)
[x] have kissed the same sex before
[x] like being alone (Most of the time, though I love being around people anyway)
[ ] hate popular music
[x] keep hair in front of your face
[x] give people evil stares
[ ] Hate your parents (sometimes quite violently, but not "hate hate"
[x] Life sucks for you
[x] have been called emo
[ ] Dislike the colours pink, teal and baby blue (love baby blue)
[ ] own thick-rimmed glasses (ewwww)
[x] Complain a lot (Tis quite fun to complain. ^.^ to Brent anyway
[x] own a studded belt (i think just one though)
Total: 14.....go being emooooo! xD

PART TWO:

SLUT/MAN WHORE:
[ ] own more than 10 minishorts
[ ] own more than 10 miniskirts
[ ] have kissed more than 7 people in one night
[x] been called a slut
[ ] drink
[x] do you or have u ever wore low cut shirts
[x] have been called a tease
[x] Flirt with everyone (you never know, it may work...)
[x] love the opposite sex
[ ] Go to parties/sleepovers at least once a week
[x] wear tight clothing
[ ] own 5 tube tops
[x] you've kissed more than 2 people in one night
[ ] Like wearing swimsuits
[x] Sit on the opposites lap (people I know)
[x] People hate you
[x] It’s nice to be naughty (every once in a while)
[x] you kiss because you think it's fun (as long as you have another good kisser)
Total: 11.............yeah, no comment here

PART THREE:

JOCK:
[] Own at least 5 jerseys
[ ] Have 10 or more trophies
[x] Wear hair in ponytail like everyday (because of work)
[x] Love sports
[] Own 5 or more sweatpants (THEY SUCK!)
[ ] Have / had played lacrosse
[x] Play more than 2 sports (for fun!)
[x] Can play a sport if you've never played it before (again for fun!)
[ ] On first string (G-string? )
[x] You play/ played Basketball (during the times in gym for half a year)
[x]You play/ played baseball-softball (again, gym, 8th grade this time though)
[x] You play/ played soccer (GYMMMMMM!)
[x]You run/ran track (would've loved to)
[x] You play/ played football (with neighborhood kids)
[ ] Been called a jock
[] Have set a record
[x] Are friends with your coach (all three)
[] Love watching sports
[] can do 15 push ups without getting tired
Total: 10.......seems likes I'm pretty well-rounded, told you I was the ultimate salad bowl of the salad bowl of america.

PART FOUR

NERD:
[x] wear your pants at your waist (try too, don't like them too low)
[ ] wear glasses-contacts
[ ] have/had braces (NEVERRRRR!)
[x] in advanced classes (yush, easier classes way too easy)
[ ] On Math team (*dies of laughter*)
[ ] Have all A's (8th grade)
[x] like spending time with your parents (Most of the time, mom's pretty fun and dad is a lot like me in so many ways that when he does want to, he's okay)
[x] have been called a nerd
[] are *annoyed* or bullied (actually......I don't believe I ever have)
[x] LOVE to learn (because things are so interesting!!!!)
[x] Like your teachers (most of them)
[x] Watch history channel (ooooh, when I happen upon it I can't turn the channel)
[x] never go anywhere on the weekends (*WAILS!* I wooooooooooooooork)
[x] Have been called weird (maybe, pretty sure once or twice, maybe more)
[ ] scared to talk to the opposite sex (I have my moments)
[ ] Dont have pics of yourself on myspace (are you crazy? I have tons)
[x] read a book a month (ooooh, I have, didn't last long, but I did)
[x] You read on your last spring break (MANGAAAAA!)
[x] Have your own website (yeah, but never did anything with it)
[ ] wear pocket protectors
Total: 11.................told you I was well-rounded.

If you haven't noticed The parts represent the 4 high school stereotypes

Part 1= Emo
Part 2= Slut / man whore
Part 3= Jock
Part 4= Nerd

....................well then...........I am an emo slutty nerd with jock aftertaste??????

Day started out boring, then started to get okay, before blew out of proportion, Jensen's ASLDKFJAEWTIAHEWFH@$*@#R&@#$*@# put me in a hissy fit terrible POED mood where I talked to no one, then got slightly better after he left and Danny and me closed, then got a lot better once I called Brent. TTTT^TTTT He calmed me so and I vented oh so much. ranted, raved, thrashed on floor, screamed into carpet, beat the ground, laughed maniacally, and then shut up face planted in carpet soundless until he said something causing me to laugh and feel a weight lifted off my chest.

New Manga>/b>
Rozen Maiden - Volume 1
My Cat Loki - Volume 2
The Devil Within - Volume 1
Venus Versus Virus - Volume 1

Just another interesting quiz thingy:

YOUR BOY SIDE
(x) You love hoodies.
(pretty ones only or a guy's hoodie that I steal and wear, if it smells good)

(x) You love jeans

() Dogs are better than cats.
(LIKE HELL THEY ARE!)

( ) It's hilarious when people get hurt.
(How about afterwards when you know they're okay and it was funny how it happened? Like my brother being close-lined by a tree branch and knocked hard on the head by a huge chunk of stick we'd thrown into a tree and it fell?)

(x) You've played with/against boys on a team.
(HELLZ YEAH! Almost all the time, it's been a while, but I still wrestle with my brother's)

(X) Shopping is torture.
(Only food shopping, I hate shopping for food, AND I hate shopping for clothes for someone else.)

(x) Sad movies suck.
(To a certain extent, though some have the better ending if they're sad and something occurs because it happened)

(X) You own an X-Box.
(Basically everything but a lot of the newere stuff, DS, and Gamecube)

(x) Played with Hot Wheel cars as a kid.
(I still collect gold cars....and I sure as hell did)

(x) at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(I WANTED TO BE A POLICEMAN......*coughs* policewoman. But Dad just told me I wanted to be a firefighter when I was a lot younger. -___- I can't imagine why I would.)

(x) You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
(I own a PS2 and Sega)

(x) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
(The pink one up until like 8?)

() You watch sports on TV.
(When available, sometimes I get interested, but most of the time, no.)

( ) Gory movies are cool
(*shudder violently* TTTTT^TTTT No

( ) You go to your dad for advice.
(Dad doesn't know about girl stuff and I go to friends or myself for advice.)

( ) You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(Who the hell would?!)

( ) You like going to football games.
( Nada, went to one )

(x) You used to/do collect baseball cards.
(When I was younger, and for only a short period of time)

() Baggy pants are cool to wear.
(I owned this one pair that was tight at hips and butt, and flared knees down, they were the baggiest ever, and AWESOME, but baggy on butt and I don't like them because then I f)

() It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
I LOVE SLEEEEEEEPOVERS WITH ANYONE! Just not hobos and complete strangers.....

(x) Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
(How about blue, black, AND silver, and sometimes the emerald-shimmery greens?)

(x) you love to go crazy and not care what people think.
(Every now and then)

(x) Sports are fun.
(To play with friends or family and while at school during gym, not to watch nor if I played on a team.

(x) Talk with food in your mouth.
(I have a problem with that.....trying to curb it)

( ) Wear boxers.
(^.^ Panties)


YOUR GIRL SIDE.

(X) You wear lip gloss.
(LOVE IT!)

(X) You love to shop
For myself, for presents for someone else, and to browse.

(x) You like to wear eyeliner.
(Every now and then, experimenting trying to find something to make my blues pop)

(x) You have some of the same shirts in different colors
( *lmao* Yes. )

() You wear the color pink.
(Not a favorite color, but there is a pink shirt I like, despite being very loose, I still like it. I wear pink b/c it's gurly and people like me in pink, but only every now and then)

() Go to your mom for advice.
(..............Hell NO, she suggests a shrink, therapist, or goes off on her own life)

( ) You consider cheerleading a sport.
(ahahahahahahahaha)

( ) You hate wearing the color black.
(more and more I am b/c I can't find a good black, save for Hot Topic and out of state places, but it's still an awesome color)

(x) You like hanging out at the mall
(TIS SOOOO MUCH FUUUUN! I love browsing and hanging out with friends)

( ) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(Never had one, but will have to with my free manicure card from S.A.S )

(X) You like wearing jewelry
My school ring, my fave earrings (ears are in a withdrawal and major hurt stage), my fave necklace (broke. ;. I love earrings best and like trying on rings. Silver is the best.

( ) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
(Not much, but I love looking at them all the time)

( ) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
(No, but it is something to do when there is nothing else)

( ) You don't like the movie Star Wars.

( ) You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.

(x) It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, ad put on make-up and accessories. (every once in a while when I really want to look good, but most of the time, like.....10-20 minutes?)

(x) You smile a lot more than you should.
(People always think I'm too happy and too cheery)

(x) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
(Try 20)

(x) You care about what you look like.
(Very much so and what I smell like and how I present myself and if my breath smells good, if my hair is straight and soft, etc.)

() You like wearing dresses when you can.
(^^ i like them, but they don't like me. Self-conscious since my body isn't a perfect hourglass kind of thing.)
PJ: I HATE THEM SOOOO MUCH!

(x) You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
(Smelling good is a MUST, on me and on others)
PJ: Smelling good is nice

(x) You wear girl underwear.

(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid.
(At mom's I had barbies, horses, playhouses, all of the girly experience, but at Dad's it was almost not like that at all)

( ) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
(Hell I can't put it on myself. SADNESSSSSSS!)

(x) Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored. (all the time, all, all, all the time. Right, Gil? >333333)

Boy: 15
Girl: 15

I put yes to the dress to make it even, because it is true to very certain extent, I just don't feel completely comfortable in one, except during summer when that's all I wear basically is my one summer dress to the pool, around the neighborhood, sometimes out and about.)

I am half and half. When Mom lived down here at her house I was mostly girly, but still played with the boys like a tomboy, but at Dad's I was almost completely boyish, except when playing tea, house, or having a fake picnic (with Ryan, believe it or not)

It was prolly more boy than girl up until recently. Like I can not wear a shirt around the house and not care, and if someone walks in on me without the shirt, like a random person, most of the time I don't care. But what's weird...as much as I go without a shirt, I can't stand wearing a nightie or any kind of shirt without shorts/pants. TTTT^TTTT

Well, first off. I now have a myspace. So, uh, yup. Here's the link, hope it works. [link] and also....other news......

I have poetic juices flowing right now, cuttiing off circulation of artistry, though I'm itching to draw.

And then again, Jut is back with his girl Hope, and found him on myspace, that's how I found out. It was accidental finding him. I added his sister as a friend, her mom added me, and I was looking for others to make friends off. I WANT LOTS OF FRIENDS SO YOU BETTER GET ONE OR ADD ME! Yes? >.<

And also...sitting with cat on lap, twisted to side with laptop...back, hurting, cat, licking my pj pants for some reason, now back to herself. I'm going to miss her when I go back to g'ville.

PEACE OUT MY FRIENDDDDS! Oh, and on myspace, I changed how I talked because, well, to add friend to myspace! Then, I'll change it again when I have friends to another style. MWUAHAHAHAHA! Foos, thy will be confuzzled when I reveal me as I am.

REQUESTS
- Wants me to draw Kyo (WILL BE STARTING within the month)
- A picture along the lines of [link]
- Kyo from Fruits Basket, my style.
- Pita-ten character (prolly will do Shia or Sasha) ....but, since I'm not good with wings, who knows
- Chesire cat; Sailor Moon
- Draw his character, b-day gift for October 4th.
- Alphonse - damn metal
- My own pirate corgi
- Draw another Rin Sohma; draw Corky in Halloween outfit (100% not possible)
- October 12. Another b-day gift. I may just color her piccu as the present, because I've been unusually busy and I might forget or end up not doing it for another year as well.......

Other Requests: Kurama(Aug 29th), Yukiko(no clue, forgot), (sp?)Zhongyi(Sept. 11?), and Blizzy (Oct. 4?)

Well, I've been home for a few days and I have to say......my bed has felt so delicious sleeping in it. although I'm pissed. My brothers have overtaken my room. Logan is now sleeping in there with his shit here and there, they've moved my computer desk and everything on it into my room so I can't get to my bookshelf or into my second dresser. And my Korean friend JiAe (Sophia) went back to Korea but gave me beautiful pens and other gifts. RYAN KEEPS TAKING HER PENS AND USING THEM! They are special to me and he doesn't understand that when I get gifts from someone even if they're nothing but a gel-pen to him, they're an important reminder. Plus they were really from Korea and it made me cry she gave me something so special that she pre-ordered for me before she left!

So, besides that note. I'm glad I got to see my cat, hang out with my dog on his new 20ft chain before he got loose and I had to force him back into his cage (bawled my soul out), and fixed up my drawings and rearranged EVERY photo on my computer. Whatever 8x38 equals, is the number of my pictures. And these are photos from digital camera, some from my actual photo albums, and the like.

xD So yeah, hung out with and today for quite some time. We went to Wal-Mart and THANK YOU I got to buy a cd I wanted and will of course, open it, copy it, and give the original to Brent as a Christmas gift, cuz he likes Linkin Park and it's a new CD that came out and he doesn't have. Yay, go me! However, no heard you had to work late...sry about that. That's how I usually am on the weekends. No free time on Saturday's or Sunday's.

Well, there ends my longer journal (but then again, they're always long) PEACE OUT!

REQUESTS
- Drawn Shigure, he's in my gallery. ^_^ Hope you like him. I neither shaded nor colored him, he may be shaded later on. Have to get ink to really fix up the drawing.
- Wants me to draw Kyo (WILL BE STARTING within the month)
- A picture along the lines of [link]
- Kyo from Fruits Basket, my style.
- Pita-ten character (prolly will do Shia or Sasha) ....but, since I'm not good with wings, who knows
- Chesire cat; Sailor Moon
- Draw his character
- Alphonse - damn metal
- My own pirate corgi
- Draw another Rin Sohma; draw Corky in Halloween outfit (100% not possible)

Other Requests: Kurama(Aug 29th), Yukiko(no clue, forgot), (sp?)Zhongyi(Sept. 11?), and Blizzy (Oct. 4?)