.......................yeah, well, I've been quite the absent person lately. And the reason is......my computer completely broke down, like reverted everything of the internet connection and wireless connection. So, I have to be home for this and more than likely, I won't BE home until Christmas Eve, Christmas Day (which won't even be spent at my house), and.....a slight chance of the next day. I am so busy working both jobs and saving money that my life i almost completely ruined without a car and license. I need license by March because my permit expires, and my uncle threatens him moving, which means......I might not be able to work if he truly does (I walk to work, therefore, unworkable if he moves)/ And things just aren't going my way lately. I don't earn enough money and I have college, dog fence, car, license, insurance, rent and bills (that I can easily pay each 1st), and other crap to pay for. WHAT THE HECKKKKKK?!?!?!?! THIS JUST TOTALLY SUCKS. I haven't seen any friends in 2 months almost, Brent is the only one I see more often than not. I've shoved Aaron away at the moment, haven't talked to him since the 8th......and yeah........

So, I've had an itch to draw lately, can't sleep, getting antsy of just sitting here at my uncle's, I'm going insane and OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG......................this just totally isn't my year. My cousin is the one who lets me drive and hello, she refuses to talk to me because of her "depression" she needs to get over it. I need her. She is being another "Mom". I told her that and she was POED beyond belief, but heck, she's just.....AUGHGHHGHGHGHdfj;alsdjffjklgerknhjkaerhtiluerhbnkljaerhti lrhfljkawehtlerhglauiwerhilugrjtnhjuaert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it when you need someone the most, they're never there? And when you depend upon them entirely, it seems your whole world falls apart.

Why the heck must I buy my first car? WHY DON'T THEY HELP MEEEE????? I mean, my God, when I was in school I had them all fawning over me, school clothes, supplies, project helpers, and now........now I have nothing but work. That's ALL I do. Go to work, come home, stay up because I'm no longer tired when I get home, and sleep.

I want to go to school, but with the way things are going, I won't go. My path I've decided to take is to be a Vet's Assistant or Small Animal Care. And that's the Berea g'ville tech. And well, I might not make it in this world much longer.

So, since I'm currently using my uncle's computer, and have time, I've updated you on.....most everything.

MY emotions right now. Antsy, pacing around, nervous, breaking down, anger, frustration, depression, annoyance, wrath, slight optimism (which I almost always am anyway), fear, pressure, breaking point, weighted down, VERY bitchy, mad, lost, upset, confused...............................................................................so yeah. I've lost my mind.